the purpose of my blog is to document and share images, questions, ideas, information, discoveries, excitement and events as i journey from dream to reality with my tiny house theater
to like this post or to leave a comment, click on the title “my dog died :(((” above
periodically, i “drop out”— like i did when my beloved dog shadow died on may 29
i’m not sure how other people handle deep grief and/or overwhelm but i turn to nature
i have always loved nature and i became an avid hiker when my youngest started kindergarten
i had always been active and fit— swim team, cross country and track in high school/college, then when i started teaching in my 20’s, aerobics and weights at the community college on my way home from work became my thing, back before they had zumba and whatever else is out there now
once i started having kids, time for personal fitness was not a priority or a reality and i could feel it!— so i was excited to get back “in shape” when i had the chance
there was a beautiful open space right up the hill from my kids school and literally the first day my son was guided into the classroom by his new teacher, i struck out up that hill for rancho san antonio!— by the time i was walking back down the hill about an hour later, my legs were like rubber and i was completely spent
boy was i out of shape!— but slowly over a few months i built up until i was walking 8-9 miles 3 or 4 times a week at the windy hill open space in portola valley, a short drive from the school
we didn’t have dogs then, but it was one of my first priorities when we moved from silicon valley to santa cruz in march, 2006
i got shadow, a little black chihuahua mix, from the shelter in july— finny, the fluffy, white foundling from lighthouse field, joined shadow in february, 2011— i came to realize family pets are really parent pets, and when the kids moved on with their lives and my ex and i divorced, i was left with the dogs
over the years it has brought me so much joy to continually find new places to explore together, where the dogs can roam off leash and do their doggy things and i can walk, think, practice puppet stories, songs and rhymes, invent new stories, create nature verses for my twitter posts, and feel the goodness and beauty of the earth
shadow was diagnosed with congestive heart failure last january, but with medications and a strong physique, she lasted longer than they predicted— and we were hiking together up till the end
she collapsed outside the yurt early friday morning, may 29 and died a minute later after i carried her inside
my heart still aches but i am slowly picking up my life again
i would love to hear some of your experiences of “dropping out” and finding your way back after a set back or unexpected life event— it seems so timely with what we all have to manage with covid right now
till next time xo
i called her baby, beebis, shad-shad, little girl— i miss you so much baby
